Pain and Punishment

I swallowed another three pills with a shot of vodka. Seated at the edge of a cliff I watched the waves crash on the rocks below. The sun dropped into the horizon like a coin dropping into a slot, the ocean bit it to make sure it wasn’t counterfeit. Twilight softened the ocean visually but did not hush it. If anything, the waves crashed louder and the ocean seemed more menacing with the coming dark. The sky was crimson, the sharp rocks below scared me but the tide was rising and it covered the rocks.The perfect tide for a suicide…

The pills were beginning to take effect; I was feeling numb and drowsy. My worries faded away and the drug induced lack of fear was exactly what I needed to do what I had to do next. It took a little effort to stand up straight, a little courage to look down at my next point of arrival and a little faithlessness to hope that God didn’t really exist and wasn’t watching me at that moment. I could pass out any second now; I was just hoping it would happen in between the freefall. I heard the sound of thunder somewhere far away; the universe seemed to be waiting for my next move. My next move was to fall…

The world around me was a blur, the wind that seemed to push me back screamed in defiance and then suddenly all was calm, and all was bright. I was stuck in mid air, body parallel to the ocean below. The water was different now, it was calm and reflective, and I could see myself hovering above it. And then, a voice that was heavier than heaven spoke and seemed to reach the ears of my soul….

“So you chose to fall…. And oh… Don’t bother asking who I am, I am exactly who you think I am.”

“Yes I chose to fall, you should know why.”

“You had been cheating on your wonderful wife and now the other lady in your life has left you for another, you got greedy and you lost money that wasn’t yours and your friends turned out to be everything but friends.”

“More or less, yes”

“If it were more, I would have said less; if it were less, I would have said more. No son, what I say is all that is there to it. Your decision will affect a lot of lives which you will see for yourself now”….

(The water below me was now completely still and images formed on the surface ….)

“That’s your wife praying for your safe return home because you haven’t shown up for dinner, tomorrow she will recognize your body in the news because of that shirt you are wearing. It was her anniversary gift to you if you remember? Now there are your parents crying over your body, you were their only support. And … ah yes… this is your son“

(I saw a little boy in a playschool)

“My… My son???”

“Yes, your wife was going to tell you soon but you just had to give up and run away from everything. The other lady in your life was not worth it, the money issue could have been solved and you would have gained real friends later in life … and your son would have made you very proud. But now your soul shall burn in hell for all eternity”

“But….What was the point of all this then?”

“The point was to make you feel pain other than that moment of physical pain you are about to endure”

“What about my wife, my parents and my son? Don’t I get a second chance?”

“I have plans for them; they are good people and shall be taken care of….. No, you get no second chance”

“So now what…?”

“As you were…”

My heart was seared and scorching with pain and regret as I hit the water and the rocks below. I was hoping it would be fast and without pain. I was wrong; there was a world of pain and punishment was about to begin…

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5 comments on “Pain and Punishment

  1. marieclaus says:

    nice !!!..hmm……m jst wnderin’ do u actuali hav a secret wifee n kid’ 😛

  2. marieclaus says:

    Brilliantly written!! Strike off my last comment yrs back! read this again…man! too good! How do you come up with all these!

  3. mo.. says:

    tooooo good edwin..

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