Yikes… I Got me a Monster!

Yesterday was the day I finally got something I wanted for a very very long time, my very own kickass,heavy duty laptop!! 6:30 pm yesterday I open the door to my apartment(from the inside) and face these two BlueDart delivery boys; they hand me a box very carefully as though something would just leap out of the box and kick them in the butt if it wasn’t handled properly. I signed a few papers and the delivery boys went back to doing what they do. I open the box, pull out the layers of packing material and then…. “EDWIN!!” My friend Aditya shouts out my name and I realise i have been staring at the sheer beauty of that what was my new Dell laptop for what must have been a little more that 15 seconds. “Quit staring at it and open it up already!” shouted out Adi. I frown, “open ‘it'” up he says, ‘IT’????!! This is not just a thing, its more than that to me and I’m going to name this beauty…. Trinity (After my fav female action character in The Matrix)!

And so I decide to test Trinity for performance and display. I power her up and wait for her to boot up;she took only a minute for her first usage! Not bad Trinity, I say. Checked out the Windows Experience Index and she had sub-score of 5.2, not bad again, not bad at all. Display looked awesome, sharp and clear. I toyed around for another half an hour and then finally decided to give her some rest; so with a satisfied smile on my face I moved the mouse to head for the shutdown button…. WHACK!!! A hand that seemed to be made of some sorta Liquid crystal and bluish binary numbers morphed out of the WLED screen and slapped me right across the face!! My face twitched for a second or two after that brief moment of electric contact; and not a second after I came to my senses I heard a metallic (but somewhat funky) and alien voice say to me.. “Well thats for trying to shut me down before letting me have some fun”. I was shellshocked and was even more so when I realised that the sound originated from the speakers (Integrated Stereo Sound with Subwoofer) of … Trinity?!!

Trinity: “Wotchu lookin at, never seen sucha fine piece of technology before??”

Me: “Uh.. um.. n.. not quite… ummmm… Trinity? You can talk??”

Trinity:”Wots that you called me??? Trinity??? DID YOU JUST NAME ME AFTER SOME CHICK??!!”

Me: “W..well.. it seemed like a nice enough name”

Trinity: “Nice enough name my ass!!… Did I come in a shade of pink?? Are my stats like 36-24-36?? NO!!… look again Eddy boy.. I’m definitely male.. 15.6 inches that too :P”

Me: “Ok, so what would you like to be called? Radeon?? Thats cool na? Named after the graphics card in you.”

Trinity: “Oh aint you the smartass. How would you like to be named after one of your internal organs?? Common gimme a fun name”

Me: “O sorry, didn’t think about that… How about …. Umm … JoJo??”

Trinity: “Mmmm… The name is so nice, you gotta say it twice…. I like it!! JoJo it is then .

[Please note that all future references to the character; previously named “Trinity”, shall be replaced by “JoJo” on request (by order rather) of the character himself.]

JoJo: “Ok now throw something at me, my chips and circuits are dying for a workout”

Me: “Umm look JoJo I’m kinda tired after work today, I’m just gonna have dinner and then crash”

JoJo: “ You do that and I’m gonna whoop your ass so bad you’ll be the only guy in heaven with a sore bum!! I Need a bludy Workout!!”

Me: “Whoa Whoa… ok ok chill…. Ummm .. wanna test out some designing tools??”

JoJo: “Yaaaawn, yeah fine whateva…”
So I install Photoshop CS, Maya etc, test them out and find that the loading time is almost nil and the pictures and animations are rendered real nice.

JoJo: “Hey Ed, don’t you have something more interesting to do?? I’m not getting any hardwork done here, I’m hardly working ”

Me: “Mmmmm, wanna game?”

JoJo: “Sure! I’m game!! … (The screen display brightens up).
I load JoJo up wid Fear2 and Doom3 and run it.

JoJo: “Ahh my insides are finally working at something. This Fear2 is nice but I kinda like Doom better, what say??”

Me: “Yeah same here, sounds better….. Hey I’m really tired and hungry now , aint the workout so far enough for the day?”

JoJo : ”Hardly!… But it’s ok we’ll go full on tommorow … right??

Me: “(Oh bugger) Ummm… yeah sure, whatever you say”

I have a quick dinner and crash out on my bed with JoJo playing Linkin Park’s “New Divide”

“Jo! Please something else!”

He then switched to Rage Against The Machine….. (O noooo… Sigh…)…… ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz….


UPDATE: This bloody laptop gave me major headaches after it’s first year. Was glad I got rid of it when I did. Last time I’m ever buying a Dell product :@


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