The Irony

The Chinese accidentally discovered gunpowder while trying to invent an elixir that would alchemically lengthen life.It is still unclear what the Chinese were originally aiming for when they discovered instant noodles. Perhaps that too, was a byproduct of longevity research.
Anyways, it may be prudent for would-be immortals to bear in mind the Chinese experience. Seeking prolonged existence, they ended up with the elixir of death; the propellant of history’s countless tragic bullets, including the ones that felled Gandhi, stopped John Lennon’s music, made JFK go AFK, and the most tragic of them all.. the one that felled Bambi’s mother.